As first-time visitors to the Grand Canyon who walked away alive, Kevin and I now consider ourselves experts at surviving the perilous and life-threatening experience.
Since the news is full of people who did not survive the deadly canyon, we offer these vital tips for visiting the Grand Canyon without actually dying.
1: Don’t get too close to the edge
Kind of a no-brainer, but apparently 55+ people have fallen to untimely deaths down the steep cliff walls. Take our advice and do your ogling from a safe distance.
2: Practice your First Amendment rights in designated areas
I don’t think the park rangers carry guns but we recommend following directions nonetheless.
3: Don’t eat at Chipotle
Not sure if there’s a Chipotle near the Grand Canyon but it’s best to avoid food poisoning either way.
4: Learn to speak all languages
We saw thousands of visitors and heard at least two dozen languages spoken during our day at the Canyon. To be safe, learn all languages in advance in case you need to call for assistance.
5: Don’t risk your life for Instagram
If maintaining your social media influencer status involves you leaning over the edge of a 4,000-foot chasm while your bestie holds your hand and tries to shoot the perfect new profile image, you might want to rethink your life priorities. Just sayin’…