For those of you who don’t know, Eastern Star is an organization that is somehow related to the Shriners. We always thought it was the female version of Shriners, but learned last night that men are also in the Star. They wear black jackets with funny pins on them.
We made several inebriated Eastern Star friends last night and learned quite a few of their secrets. We now know the secret signal, what goes on in meetings (“Everyone talks about everyone else and tells us who they are … like we don’t remember from last week.”) and control the world.
Oh, we also met the ambassador to Eastern Star from Arizona. Who knew? I asked her if she knew the ambassador to Poland. I met him one time in a hotel. She didn’t.
Well, they didn’t tell us they control the world. But it seems like I heard somewhere that these secret societies do. So now that we know all the inside stuff, I guess we’ll start controlling. Be VERY NICE to us from now on.
Let’s have a meeting of the group now:
“Oh…and did you hear what Mary Alice wore to the…”

Where’s your fez? The Eastern Star would have been impressed.
I thought the Eastern Star was associated with the Masons?????
You are outrageous!